If you have been in conversation with me the past while, you might have heard me drop the name of a jungian psychotherapist and author, James Hollis. In fact, some friends have teasingly noted that I tend to follow up the name drop with a comment like “he’s amazing.” My appreciation of his work and writing is high and I don’t hide my enthusiasm for him. I have been drawn to his work for my own personal reasons, as a guide and mentor to help me navigate through mid-life, as well as a grounding voice in my work with clients. He helps me move away from quick fix solutions and go deeper to the heart of issues, within myself and with those I support.
In an interview on the Hubermanlab Podcast, Hollis talks about the role of psychotherapy in our culture. Rather than psychotherapy being a narcissistic practice of self-absorption, he suggests that therapy offers the possibility to contribute to the collective good, because it helps the individual face and work with the hidden (or shadow) aspects of their own psyche. Once they face this and identify parts of their own shadow, they have the capacity to change and alter their actions so that these aspects of themselves are not unconsciously directing their own behaviour and actions.
I appreciate that Hollis offers a counter argument to therapy being a practice of self-absorption or narcissism. Certainly, there are dangers of therapy becoming a self-congratulatory process, especially if a therapist is not in their own process of growth and is oblivious to their own shadow. However, if one searches for a therapist who is willing to sit alongside a person, slowly walking with whatever they carry, inviting them deeper into the darker and often scarier aspects of their own self, it can become a way to heal from self-absorption.
Hollis suggests that therapy which draws a person deeper into their own psyches and helps that person become increasingly aware of the unconscious dynamics that govern their own lives helps people become more mature adults in the world. In that same podcast, Hollis defines an adult as “someone who is willing to take full responsibility for what bleeds out of them into the world around them.” I find this definition of adulthood significant, as there is evidence all around of the many ways people’s shadows are bleeding into the collective and few are taking responsibility for the harmful impact it makes.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to see more adults in our world right now?
That being said, it is easy to look at others and witness the ways they do not face their own selves. But how are we doing this work ourselves? And what is it holding us back from witnessing our own parts?
We are in a moment in time when much feels out of our control, and there is much to be concerned about. It all can feel overwhelming and daunting. Yet, as Hollis points out, perhaps one thing we can do is face our own selves squarely and become accountable for the ways that we impact the world around us. Indeed, it might create a world with more adults.
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